return my video game
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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