Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
