"it" just moved
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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