no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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