Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize