Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
