Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
