My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
