420 ftw
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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