FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
