her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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