I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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