Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
