I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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