We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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