i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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