Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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