I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I love you.
Bad choice
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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