why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
