And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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