Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
