just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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