Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
