Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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