i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
