It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
