it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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