On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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