Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
