i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
