she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize