he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
