im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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