k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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