I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
