ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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