from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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