"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize