i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I look better un-naked...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
me + whiskey = a bad person
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