Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
