the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
