Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
