Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
