those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
