Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
