I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
