I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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