was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
