I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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