I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
