I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
