you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
