Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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