i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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