chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
