I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
