I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
