Say something about gay babies.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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