I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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