Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
