I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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