my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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