I wish I only lived at night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
